When you live on the road, you get to pick where you want to call home. Most chose a state with little or no income tax, inexpensive vehicle registration, no vehicle inspections and easy drivers license renewals. For most people Full Timing it, that means one of three states: Florida, Texas and South Dakota.
When I purchased the Ford Transit Van back in May, my plan was to take it west and convert it to a Class B RV. At that time, I had also decided to move my legal residency from Vermont to another state as well. I picked Oregon for a few reasons. To start with, I’d be spending a lot of time there. I also had a friend there who could receive my mail and there was little to no sales tax. I received my Oregon Plates in July, though I was still living and working in New York at the time. I planned to get my Oregon license when I arrived there in October of 2019 for my Pet Sitting gig.
It was December when my friends in Oregon asked me to come spend Christmas with there and then Pet Sit for them after Christmas. So now I’d be in Oregon ten months earlier than planned. I figured, I’d get my license while I am there and then I’d be Washington bound right after the New Year.
When I crossed into Oregon late one December night in heavy rain and chilly temperatures,. It was dark and traffic was heavy and as I searched for a place to stealth camp, a feeling began to take root. On the outside, I had made it to Oregon and I was celebrating, but on the inside, a sinking feeling began to take root.
It was a few days later when I was going to get my Drivers License changed to Oregon, this feeling grew stronger. It was strong enough now that I didn’t go to the DMV and instead, put it off. I still had no idea what this feeling was, but I knew it was not a good feeling. Over the next couple of days it got worse and worse. Depression began to set in and I hadn’t felt this kind of depression since losing Lexie. I wasn’t sure I could handle that again. What the hell is going on, I wondered? I no longer knew who I was or what I wanted. I was lost in Oregon.
Then one day it hit me when my friends introduced me to their neighbor saying: “This is Larry, our friend from Vermont”
Vermont
Vermont? Vermont! With that one sentence, I knew what was wrong.
It was 1978 when my family bought a home on Lake St. Catherine in Vermont, but we never lived there full time. It was a vacation home. A place to go when school was out. A getaway. I lived in Vermont twice since I was a child. Once was in the 90’s for a short period of time and the next was in 2002 when I build the new home there, but both those time, I was still considered a New Yorker. It was in 2013 when I relocated to Vermont, first temporarily and then it became permanent. I changed my address to Vermont, relocated my business there and considered Vermont my home. I was even one of the founding members of the Slate Quarry Park, a Non Profit I helped start to purchase land in the Village and turn it into a community park. I served as the founding Treasure and even negotiated the real estate purchase. I loved every ounce of Vermont and felt very welcome there.
It was February 2015 when I’d be hit with a blow that rocked my world. Finding out my little girl was dying of cancer hit me hard. Hard enough that I almost did not survive the ordeal. Life, as I knew it, ended December 24th, 2015 as I held her in my arms and said Good Bye one final time. (read: You’re Really Gone) By that June, I needed to escape and in July, after selling everything I had, giving away what I couldn’t and throwing out a lifetime worth of memories, I left Vermont – in a Kayak – bound for Key West, FL (read:Canada to Key West Paddle ) Even after leaving Vermont that summer, I considered Vermont my domicile over the next couple of years.
Identity Crisis revealed
The feeling I had that very first night I entered this state wasn’t homesickness, it was an Identity Crisis. I had traveled coast to coast and now here I was, in Oregon with Oregon plates on my van and about to get and Oregon Drivers License. People were assuming I was from here, but I wasn’t. I had no connection to Oregon. I felt like an imposter! More so, I felt like I was about to betray the one place that ever felt like home to me. I never had an issue giving up my NY license for a Vermont license, but I sure was having a crisis giving up my Vermont license for an Oregon one.
You’re probably thinking; this guy is nuts. YES! Don’t for a second, think that I think this is normal. To this day, I don’t understand it, I’m not justifying what I felt, I am simply telling you what I was feeling. I was about to give up my identity as a Vermonter and it bothered me something awful. The average person has a house .That house sits on a little piece of earth that makes it home. In that home you have stuff. Some of that stuff is from your past – memorabilia; pictures or trinkets from your childhood or birthplace, a family heirloom, etc. I don’t have any of that. I have memories not memorabilia. I have my van and that van moves around from place to place. The only thing that connects me to anyplace is the license plate (or tag, depending on where you live). It identifies me to others much like your home address identifies you to others. When I had my Real Estate Brokerage, I remember people paying big bucks for the opportunity to identify with a specific zip code, town or village. People need to feel like they belong somewhere.
The Solution
As silly as it sounds, I knew what I had to do. I was in NY when I registered my van in Oregon and now here I was in Oregon and I needed to re-register it in Vermont. I had to get back my identity. I discussed this anxiety at length with some close friends and after employing the services of my good friends; Tim in Manchester, and Justine in Poultney, Vermont – I got my mail changed back to Vermont and my van registered in Vermont. Suddenly, like a wave sweeping away a sand castle, my anxiety was gone. I was so excited to do this, I even went as far as to find a special – out of issue – Vermont plate that I use to have on my previous truck. When I had found out it was out of issue, I did a Google Reverse Image search to see if anyone was selling them. While I could not find any for sale, I did see one on a Hot Rod posted for sale in VT. I contacted the owners of the car and offered to buy it plate from them. They agreed to sell it to me and I had it mailed out to me. The day I put those plates on Savanna, I was ecstatic. I had gotten my identity back.
While I might have been born in New York, Vermont is what feels like home.
I knew it!