With this past Sundays unusually early Hard 
Freeze and Snow Fall (temps were sub freezing for 24 hours) we lost our Peak Fall Foliage. For most this means some lost photo opportunities while for others it simply means an end to another season. This year it means so much more to me and its going to be difficult.
It was the end of February when Lexie was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and the news continued to get worse with every week. Initial estimates gave her three to six months to live. Two major surgeries, months of chemo which continue to this day, a barrage of medicines to counter the side affects of the the chemo and my little girl has beat the odds. We’re 8 months and counting and things look good right now. She is full of energy, at the last check up, the tumors were again getting smaller (her second time going into remission) and she’s remaining as healthy as can be for one on this stronger dose of chemotherapy which has all but destroyed her bodies ability to fight any infection. So what’s the problem then?
If you’ve been following along on my sporadic posts here, her GoFundMe site; http://www.gofundme.com/lexiescancerbattle or my Facebook page you’ll know that I began riding again for Lexie. It’s what she loves to do and I wanted to make sure the remaining time I had with her would be spent doing what she loved doing and that is where my difficulty lies.
November is approaching fast and that means the end of the riding season here in New England. When we use to ride, we’d ride year round. We would escape winter and head south or bundle up and ride around the North East, but with her on Chemo, she has some difficulty traveling for long periods and I need to be careful with her compromised immune system now. We take each day as it comes and treat it as a gift, but it is difficult for me to forget that soon we won’t be able to jump on the bike and I can’t get the thought out of my mind about what will become our last ride. Did it already happen? Will there be another? Will we see Spring arrive together? So many thoughts are bouncing around in my head. Back in April, I never expected us to see June. In June I never expected us to see August. Now here we are approaching the end of October.
November in New England is typically a time when we prepare for Winters wrath. Firewood is stacked and readied, crops are harvested, fruits and vegetables have been canned, vehicles have been prepared and our life outdoors takes a back seat to life indoors. Sure, there will be times when we bundle up and go skiing or snow shoeing, ice skating or snowmobiling. There is plenty of outdoor activities to get you out of the house in the Winter, but unlike Summer where we can practically live outside (and some do) we have to prepare to head outside in the Winter.
Unlike Spring, Summer and Fall, Winter affords you the time for thought and reflection. I am a thinker. I delve right into though. Deep thought. These are two areas I have been trying hard to avoid because with thought comes realizations, reality and in this case fact, but at this point I don’t want to look ahead. I want to look at today. We live today, we sleep and if we wake up tomorrow, we live it again. I’ve managed to distract myself from thought for three seasons. We were constantly on the go. Living from one moment to the next, but now as Winter approaches, life is slowing down. I am craving distraction from reality though reality hits me around the clock. 7am, 9am, 10am, 1pm, 3pm, 5pm, 7pm, 9pm, 11pm. Those are all key times in my distracted day. Times when I have to force numerous meds down Lexie. Times when I have to stop her from eating due to the next round of meds. Times when I have to get her to eat so she can take other meds. So you can see, distraction is quite difficult, yet somehow I have managed to keep myself distracted and keep our daily lives full of adventure. I have been very fortunate to have many friends both supporting Lexie and I and keeping us distracted during this time. Without them, I am not sure where I would be right now.
Yes, I have some difficult times ahead, but I will walk toward this challenge with my head up, hopes up and eyes open for beauty surrounds us everyday, we just need to be willing to spot it.
Perhaps we will try to make an escape to warmer weather or just try to continue playing around here, but life is to be lived and living is what we do best.
What struggles are you going through?
Do you seek distractions to get through the day, week or year?
Just saw you in port jervis ny
While we were riding or fixing the flat tire? :/
Welcome aboard